


I'm sorry

by Lhumyaki



Series: Reincarnation AU- the 'I'm sorry' verse (OS and stories) [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (and by that I mean it's all of them when they died before being reincarnated), (sorry Burr), Aaron and Alex are besties, Also there's Bellamy because I love him, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, English fic even if I don't speak English, Gen, Hercules is the only straight one, M/M, and for plot purpose too, because i live for these two being friends, but mostly because i love them as best friends, happiness for everyone!, or so they think, the major character death is in the past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 11:50:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15118805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lhumyaki/pseuds/Lhumyaki
Summary: Aaron Robbins was acting weird.Not because his life was bad -on the contrary, he has a wonderful family and friends-;Not because he just remembered his past life -almost everyone he knew were reincarnates, it's a normal thing for him-;Not because he was affraid to receive hate from the anti-reincarnates -these guys weren't really that much, neither dangerous anymore-;Not because he was affraid to be the only one from the 1700-1800, and without finding no one -all the reincarnates he knew were from this time, and everyone met or heard about his past self at least once-Actually, maybe this was the reason: all the reincarnates he knew were from this time, and everyone met or heard about his past self at least once.





	1. Chapter 1

Aaron Robbins have always knew reincarnates. Maybe his parents weren’t, but almost all of his friends, as well as his big sister, were old souls.  
Even more, all of these reincarnates were from around 1700-1800, and knew at least one of the other. Something about the souls being attracted to the souls they already knew.  
So, it always seemed clear to him that, if he was a reincarnate, he would be from the same time than his friends. 1700-1800, the war, the start of a nation. If he was, of course.

« Ronnie ! » a voice called from behind him. He turned around to see his best friend, Alex.  
Well. Alex wasn’t reall his name in this time period, but when you’re named ‘Goku’, you’re more than happy to switch for a shortened version of your name in your past life.  
« Hi, Alex » Aaron said. « Did you… did you just said ‘Hi’ ?! » his friend fake gasped, looking horrified. The 16 years old laughed to his friend’s antics, soon joined by the later.

Aaron and Alex. They were a living proof of the expression « opposites attract ».  
Aaron was quiet and more of the watcher, ready to put his thoughts under another perspective. Alex loved to talk, too much. He thought he was always right, and would often brag.  
Or so it was before Alex remembered, when it was still « Goku and Aaron ». Now, Alex calmed down. He was still talking way too much, but he was more discreet, and could accept after a long argument he may have been wrong. Aaon liked it that way, even though it was still weird sometimes.

Anyway. These two were best friends, for the better and the worse.

« A, you’re with me ? » Alex snapped Aaron back to reality. « Uuuh, yeah ? Sorry, Alex, what were you saying ? »  
Alex sighed. « Still thinking about this whole reincarnation thing ? » he asked.

Aaron looked away, a bit flushed by the fact his best friend guessed right « Yeah… »  
A reassuring smile spreaded accross Alex’s face « You know that you’ve got nothing to worry about… »  
« I’m not worried about anything, Alex, it’s just… almost all my relatives are old souls, and then there’s me. Aaron Robbins, the new soul in town. »  
« Maybe you just don‘t remember yet. I heard that Mr Watson suddenly woke up in his bed this Friday night and muttered something about a war and basically he is a reincarnate too. Actually, I’m quite impatient to go to his class today, because he’s going to told us who he was, and maybe I knew him ! I already have some ideas who he might be, and… ! »  
« Alex. » Aaron interrupted his friend who had started to bounce aroud and got overly exited as he was speaking. Aaron wanted to continue his thought, but the 15 years old Aaron has as a best friend cut him. « Talk less ? That’s what you’re going to say ? »  
« Actually, I was going for ‘Slow down a bit’, but I like your version more… »

Maybe he dreamed, but Aaron was sure he saw a shadow passed in Alex’s eyes.

« Hey, double-A ! » a voice with a French accent called them.

Alex and Aaron smiled at the three people coming in their direction.  
A black boy with a bandana wrapping his forehead, a freckled boy with his hair in a ponytail, and finally, the one wo called them both, a tall person with their floofy hair put in a bun.

« Mat’, » Alex mocked amically, « why do you have a French accent now ? » ‘Mat’, or ‘Matthew Lafleur’ from his full name, just smiled widelly before answering : « Well, beacause I AM French ! »  
Alex laughed « No, Matthew, » and Alex insisted on the ‘ -ew’, « your grandparents were French. You, you’re american. I’m sorry, I know it sucks, but it’s true.»  
« Or so you think ! » Matthew exclaimed, this time without the accent. Then, facing Alex’s puzzled looks, he added in a perfect French : « Mon ami ».

It seemed as if Alex’s face lighted up in a second, as a big smile splattered on his face. « Laf’ ?! »  
« Bonjour Alexander »  
Then, the two proceed to hug under their friends’ gaze.

« I… hate to break in, but… what the fuck just happened ? »  
« Hoooo, A-a-ron said the f word ! » joked William, the bandana boy. Aaron gave him the Look to shut him down. It wasn’t really effective, seeing the snickers from the others.  
« Well, you see, Aaron, » began freckles boy, or John, « Matthew is actually a reincarnate too ! »  
Aaron looked dubfounded at his friend. « He’s ALSO a reincarnate ?! »

The silence who answered him was enough to tell ; Aaron looked at the sky, desperate.

Remember how it was ALMOST all of his friend who were old souls ? Well, you can get rid of the ‘almost’. ALL OF THEM were old souls.

« ‘see, A ? » Alex smiled to him. « Matthew just remembered his past life, there’s no need to worry about you not being a reincarnate ! There’s no time to remember ! »  
« Again : I’m NOT worried, it’s just weird I’m not one. And the fact that my only friend who wasn’t a reincarnate turned out to actually be a reincarnate, and who seem to be from the same time than you, guys, is not really helping the case. »  
« You know, Aaron, » started Matthew, or… whoevere he was before, « I don’t understand why you’re so sure you’re not an old soul. Still not having your revelation does not mean you’re not one. Just, look at me, I had my revelation during this night’s dreams ! »  
« Plus, A, » Alex added, « Often, it’s better when you don’t remember… » he was looking right at Aaron, but he could see Alex wasn’t actually there, more like he was remembering some bad things from this past which was so long ago….

 

‘It’s better when you don’t remember’. Aaron could believe that. Whatever happened in his past life, since Alex remembered Alexander Hamilton, his past self, things were… a bit off.  
Not so long ago, Goku was the problematic child who would always talk back to teachers ; then, one year ago, he shifted to a more reserved one. Of course, he was still stubborn, but it was as if he suddenly understood sometimes you need to shut your mouth. A change for the better, according to Aaron.  
Most of the changes weren’t big enough to be spotted by the man in the street, but his friends, especially his BEST friend, saw them. A quirk who wasn’t there before, or on the contrary, one who disappeared ; bags under his eyes who were more prominent than before ; the milk who disappeared from his usual cup of coffee to turn all black ; and so on.  
But the most important change to Aaron, one of these changes no one else than him could spot, was how Alex was with him. On appearence, everything was the same as it used to be, an it was, indeed. The same good old inside jokes, the same way to push each other for laugh, the same habits after and before school. Only one thing really changed, and it was weaving way more it should be on Aaron.  
Since Goku remembered, since he was named Alex by everyone but the jerks, Alex never called again Aaron « Aaron ».


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, read the note at the end! I ask you a question I would like to see the answer.
> 
> Enjoy!

After an uneventful math class, Aaron, Alex, John, William and Matthew all ended up in their history class.

This class was... particular. For all Aaron knew, they were only six of them, teacher included, not being a reincarnate in it. Well, now four, since Matthew and mr. Watson were actually reincarnates.  
How the hell did their school manage to end up with all its reincarnates in 10th grade in the same class?! The history class, to say the least.

Anyway. Mr. Watson came in, and all suddenly, they were quiet.  
Then, their teacher spoke up.

"Hello everyone. I know that the fact I had my revelation three days ago is already a knowledge for all of you. I also know that I said I will tell you who I was in this class, but before that, does anyone here want to say something?"  
Mr. Watson looked at everyone, expecting.

'Does anyone want to say something?' was Watson's codeword to say 'Who got their revelation recently?'; so, of course, four hands raised up.

Wait.

Four?

Aaron looked at the three, closed to each other, intruders hands.  
Three girls were there, looking at each other with sheepish smiles. Sky, Lisa and Meggy, the three inseparable friends.

"Well, lady first, I suppose," Watson said, inviting the three bff to introduce.  
The three of them exchanged amused looks.  
Sky got up first.

"Angelica!"  
"Eliza!"  
"And Peggy!"

"The Schuyler sisters!" they ended up at the same time.

Most of the students seemed impressed by the news. They must have been pretty important. Maybe he should look their name up later.

But Aaron didn't have time to think more, as he perceived his best friend tensed up a bit next to him.  
"Alex?" he asked, concerned.

His friend answered him with a small smile and his "I'm-okay-or-so-that's-what-I-want-you-and-myself-to-believe" look.  
So, not ok.  
With a rapid look to the sisters, who were chatting with the other students, Aaron grasped Sky Lerlings's murderous gaze directly aimed to Alex.

He definitely needed to learn more about these sisters and what happened with Alex's past self.

"Alright everyone," interrupted Watson. "I know it's kind of dizzy to see the Schuyler here, but we still have two people left to talk, a history class, and then a little idea I had for a project."  
The classroom calmed down, and it was Matthew's turn to spoke. Aaron will finally know who he was.

Mat' got up of his chair with a big smile on his face. Then, with his newly found french accent;  
"Bonjour! I was Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, marquis de La Fayette, and I count sur all of you to remember it!" he winked, and the chatting began again, excited. So, Mat' was famous back then, hu? Now he thought about it, they were things named after Lafayette, so that made sense.  
Gosh, why did Aaron never listen during the lessons about the independence?

Watson smiled brightly to Matthew. They must have knew each other.

"Well," mr. Watson said to, once again, stop the chatting. "I suppose it's my turn now"  
If someone was still paying no attention, it wasn't the case anymore.

"I think most of you knew my past self, to not say all of you"  
His gaze went from face to face, only stopping for a second on some of them. Contrary to Mat' and the sisters' announcement, which were more lighthearted, Watson's announcement was serious, almost solemn.

Their teacher smiled, lighting a bit the atmosphere.  
"I was George Washington"

The classroom exploded at the revelation. George Washington. This one, even Aaron could recognize him.  
The first US president, the famous general George Washington. The man Alex, John and William wouldn't shut up about. And, by seeing how amazed and happy Matthew was, soon he would be restless about the man too.

Aaron looked at his best friend. He was no longer stiffening under Sky's glare, but delighted, eyes sparkling.  
Watson looked fondly to Alex.

Aaron really needed to read about Alexander Hamilton. He didn't even know why he still hasn't yet. It's been a year!  
_____________________

The class went without any problems, and fifteen minutes before the period ends, mr. Watson asked everyone to stop working and listen to him.

"I told you before we start that I had an idea for a project."  
Everyone looked at him, listening carefully.

Seemed like being the first president made even the most disrespectful reincarnate shut up, thought Aaron.

"Yes?" one of the student spoke. "And..?"  
Seemed like Aaron was wrong. High schoolers will be high schoolers, no matter who was in front of them.

Watson glanced at the student. Sam, Aaron remembered.  
"I was about to tell it." A pause. He looked at all the students.  
"At first, I was hesitating with this, since there were still some of you who didn't remember. But now, it seems like everyone here is a reincarnate, so here the..."

Aaron coughed to draw attention. He hated to interrupt, but he couldn't help.

Watson looked at him, intrigued. Then, as he understood his mistake:  
"Oh, right, I'm sorry Aaron!"  
Some snickers could be heard. Now, knowing if they're for Watson's mistake or Aaron...

"As I said, since almost everyone here is a reincarnate, here the idea: you're going to do a work about your past self, to show it to the class in one month."  
There's whispers everywhere. Aaron could feel Alex being exited yet apprehending right next to him.

Watson seemed happy as his students agreed about the idea.

"And what if I don't want to?" a harsh voice made itself heard.  
All heads turned to the young boy who just spoke. Pale, hair dyed in white. English accent. Of course it would be...  
"Then that's a shame, mr. King," the teacher began, voice maybe a bit too cold. "Can I ask why?"

He hesitated.  
"... I don't want to talk about my past self."

Watson's traits softened immediatly.  
"I see. Well, don't worry Gregory." He raised his voice, so everyone could hear. "If you don't want to talk about your past self because it could be hard for you, it's alright. You just have to chose someone else. Maybe someone from your last life, or a historical figure you want to talk about. If you don't have any idea, you still can ask me about it."

Mr. Watson waited to see if someone would ask something else. Seeing no one complaining, he continued.  
"For your work, I want you to give the basics: first and last name, date of birth, date of death, ... you will also tell some meaningful events, explaining their impact on your past self's life."  
"All of this in one month?" complained a student.  
"I thought, if you're talking about yourself, it will be easier. I'm not asking you to do a list of twenty items, just two or three events will do the job. It's more a work to give you points and learn more about who you were than anything else. After all, some of you did great things though didn't made it to the history books..."

At that, Watson let his gaze fell on John.

There was a little silence before mr. Watson started to talk again.  
"Anyway, don't forget: the due date is in one month. We're going to talk more about this project the next time we'll see each other. End of class."

The bell rang right after he finished to spoke.  
_____________________

At home, Aaron directly went to his room, where he could find a biography about Alexander Hamilton. He had bought this book the day after Alex, still Goku for him back then, called him at two in the morning to yell he remembered. It took a while for Aaron before finally get out of his friend's incoherent speech that he was a reincarnate, Alexander Hamilton in his past life.

Why did Aaron never read this book? He had plenty of time to at least begin it, but he always thought he could do that later.  
Well, now with this work, it was time to read it.

But why did he feel anxious at this idea?  
_____________________

It's been ten minutes since she called Aaron to dinner. He still was in his room.  
Johanna (call her Jo), began to worry.  
Aaron was never that late. If he was working on something for school, he would just ask for a bit more time, but he hadn't.  
Jo decided she needed to check on him.

"Aaron?" her sister called him, knocking on his closed door.

No response.

She slowly opened the door.  
"Aaron?" she called again, concerned filling her voice.

He was on his bed, crying, a book opened and his laptop on a wikipedia page.  
'The Burr-Hamilton duel', the wiki was saying.

Of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... I hesitated a lot before posting this chapter. Add to this the fact that I had to look up some informations and I was lazy, that explains why this chapter is so late.  
> BUT! the next chapter is already done, and oh boy... I'm proud of myself.   
> So, get ready for next week, maybe even sooner.
> 
> As always, English is not my native language, so tell me if I made a mistake, please! Also, if something confuses you, ask me, I would try to explain, and ask what exactly confused you so I can improve!
> 
> Last note: I introduce some characters in this chapter, and as you know now, Aaron's history class is filled with reincarnates. So, if you want to know more about one of the character, tell me, and maybe I'll do a OS for them.


	3. Chapter 3

With apprehension, Aaron opened the book, settled himself comfortably on his bed, and started reading.

He made it until Alexander -Alex- 's arrival in America, all along with a bad feeling he couldn't really place.

When Alexander Hamilton met Aaron Burr, his feeling worsen.  
But in the same time, he was deeply fascinated, and soon, Aaron found himself reading more intensely.  
He wanted to know more, not about Alex's past life, but about this other guy. So, Aaron soon decided he would work on his homonym.

It's only after some more reading in the book that the young boy suddenly realized something.

Since Alex remembered, he never called Aaron by his name. And Aaron was reading about Alex's past life, past life including a certain _Aaron_ Burr.

The bad feeling came back. Something must have happened. And Aaron was sure it wasn't pretty.

Anxiously, Aaron put back the book on his bed. He needed to know _what_ exactly happened. But in the same time, he didn't. He didn't because he didn't want to see someone sharing his name kill his best friend.  
Or, well, something else. Why would it absolutely _kill?_ Maybe the guy just made Alexander's wife cheat on him _(no, Elizabeth Schuyler would never...)_ , or maybe he stabbed him in the back for some sort of bad plans, or maybe he actually never caused any harm to Hamilton, maybe on the contrary Hamilton was the one who caused problems in the first time, because it was so Hamilton to bring problems with his big mouth of him and Burr had a reason right he couldn't let theo be alone even if she wasn't really because she was married and maybe it would have been better if he just died because theo still died before him in the end like her mother she died and-

Aaron blinked. Several times.

What the fuck just happened?

He glanced at his laptop, beside his bed.

Without thinking, he reached for it, opening then turning it on.

While waiting for the machine to heat up, Aaron looked back what just happened.  
Basically, he was thinking about what could Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton had as unpleasantness to make Alex hates to say Aaron's name. Then suddenly, Aaron just had started to let his mind go everywhere and he had - was it some sort of _memories?_ \- a weird experience.

Not wanting to risk any other train of thoughts that didn't appear to make sense, Aaron decided to concentrate on his task.  
Which was...

Why did Aaron open his computer again?

He looked at it for a moment, startled. He must've been sick...

Aaron looked at the book next to him. Right. He was doing the work for mr. Watson. He wanted to look Aaron Burr up in order to learn more about him.

Opening google, Aaron let his hands stay a bit on the keyboard without moving a finger. Literally.

Some seconds passed before he came to his sense and started typing.

Aaron Burr  
 _Aaron Burr - wikipedia_  
 _The Burr-Hamilton duel - wikipedia_

His heart dropped. Slowly, he clicked the very second link presented to himself, not even looking further.

He read the first line. His eyes watered. He didn't need to remember why, he just could feel it, could feel what was wrong.

_The Burr–Hamilton duel was fought between prominent American politicians Aaron Burr, the sitting Vice President of the United States, and Alexander Hamilton, the former Secretary of the Treasury, at Weehawken, New Jersey._

He didn't even bothered read past this line. He read it over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over... and over again, and tears were falling, intensifying by each read, making his heart, his head, ached more and more and more each time.

_Aaron Burr, the sitting Vice President of the United States, and Alexander Hamilton, the former Secretary of the Treasury_

_Aaron Burr, the sitting Vice President of the United State_

_Alexander Hamilton, the former Secretary of the Treasury_

_Alexander._   
_Alexander Hamilton._   
_He did it._   
_He killed his best friend._   
_He killed Hamilton._

Jo entered the room, called his name.

Aaron needed to throw up.  
________________________

The good news is, in the end, he didn't puke. The bad news was that he was still feeling like shit.

"You okay, Aaron?" his sister asked, tapping on his back.

Aaron - and _GOD_ , why THIS name out of all? - stayed silent above the toilet he ran to what feels like hours ago while really, it was only ten minutes.

"Aaron-" Jo began quietly, like when he had nightmares as a kid.

"That... that's ok, I'm ok, don't worry." Aaron rushed.

He perfectly knew his big sister wouldn't believe him, but he also perfectly knew she would left him alone as long as he needed to feel better and talk. Even if this time, he'll make sure nobody knows a thing.

"Alright... I just wanted to tell you that dinner's ready, so come to eat when you feel better, ok?"

Aaron just nodded. He knew it.

With reluctance, Jo left her baby brother in the bathroom to head downstairs. She didn't like it.  
She actually never liked it, leaving her brother all alone, but she didn't have the skills to make him talk without feeling like forcing it out.  
So she stepped aside, once again, despite all of her body screaming "Danger!".

She hated it. She hated it, because she perfectly knew what happened. It always seemed so obvious to her since she remembered, since she met her sweet little brother; for her, Aaron was... well... Aaron... the Aaron she knew back then. She could almost felt it when they met.  
And when Aaron said this boy, his best friend, was actually Alexander Hamilton's reincarnation, she could only hope even more.

She knew there would be issues, but she had figured out she could deal with it.  
Well, she couldn't.  
Instead, she let her little brother alone, in a bathroom, ready to throw up out of the pain of the memories he was holding.

Instead, she abandoned him, too afraid to deal with the issue, to stand against her brother, against Aaron, and forced him to spit it out.

What an awful big sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry.
> 
> Sooooo yeeeaaah....
> 
> I love this chapter, I wrote it so easily, I hope you liked it too!


	4. Chapter 4

It was an awful night.  
_____________________

"Hey, little bro", greeted Johanna.

She had a pan in her hand, a delicious odor of bacon coming from it.

Usually, the said little bro would have leaned just to smell more of it, if he wasn't feeling sick by smelling any kind of strong odor. Sadly, it included bacon.

"Hey", he answered, without much enthusiasm.  
His sister looked at him. Aaron was paler than usual, and bags have developed under his eyes. His glasses were put carelessly, and let'snot talk about his clothes.  
To sum this up: he was a mess.

"Are you ok?" Jo asked, worried.  
The young boy just looked at her, with the most 'really?' look ever.

 

Awkward silence.

 

Aar... the small boy sighed.  
"I remembered yesterday that I was a man who killed his rival for petty reasons, rival who happens to be my best friend who got so traumatized by the event he isn't able to call me by my name anymore, everyone who loved me have died before me, and when I died, I was all alone, lonely man who ruined his career, legacy and future. Oh and my second wife asked for a divorce and the lawyer was Alexander Hamilton Jr. She won, I died not so long after, end of story. Besides that, I'm fine."

"..."  
"... sorry", the black haired boy said. "It's just..." he sighed and stopped there.  
"Do you want to stay at home today?"  
"For what? Sorry, my little brother won't go to school today because he just remembered he was a murderer and is feeling awful"  
"You do know that having your revelation is a valid excuse, right? After all, sometimes it can get really difficult to deal with, just from the headache it can caused."  
"Yeah, I know."  
"So? I'm calling?" Jo proposed, already reaching for her phone.

 

"No."

 

His sister stopped to move and looked at him, confused. "No..? Why..?" she asked.

The boy bite his lip, looking away before answering.  
"If I say I had my revelation, they would want to know who I was..."  
"Yes? And what's wrong with that?"  
"..."  
" _Aaron_ "

She saw her brother flinches at the name, _his_ name, and an arrow of pain get trough her heart.

"Can I borrow your makeup?" he asked, instead of answering her.  
"Why?"  
"I need to cover these dark circles under my eyes. I don't want people people to ask questions."  
"...." she won't give in, not this time, she can't, she's going to protest and say it's better if he stays at home today, and she's going to help h....

 

"OK." she answered.

 

Her brother nodded at her before leaving the kitchen/eating room to try his best to hide his tiredness.  
___________________

"A! You're already there? And here i thought I would be the one early for our meeting!"

'A' raised his head from the book he's been reading for 15 minutes now, to see his best friend approaching him while waving, no care if people were looking weirdly at them.

It's true that he always was the one waiting for Alex, and it's true that usually, he should be here waiting for him in five minutes. But skipping breakfast and leaving the house as fast as you could so you don't have to deal with your sister seemed to have made him arrive at their meeting place earlier.

The black haired boy take a look at his best friend. Messy, short red hair, big blue-purplish eyes... it was unbelievable how Aar... Robbins never got his memories back before. He was literally standing in front of a young, teenager Alexander Hamilton. How could their similarities, especially after starting to call him Alex, _knowing_ it was Alexander, never triggered anything?  
Robbins felt bad.

 

"So..." started Alex.

Stepping back in reality, Aa... Robbins suddenly realized he's been watching Alex for this long without even saying hello.  
"Sorry," he said. "I was lost in my thoughts."

Alex smiled, before answering, "It's fine. Even if it surprises me from you, A. You always were the down-to-earth one."  
"Really? Yet, I remembered having some other spacing out moments."  
"Well, I never saw one, then."  
"... huh."

They chatted some more minutes before being joined by the rest of the team.

"Bonjour, double-A!" Matthew playfully said.

"Hey guys!" Ulysse greeted with a wave.

"Hello Alex, hello Aaron!" John ended, big smile on his face.

 

Robbins flinched. If someone noticed, they didn't say anything.

 

He would love to ask the other to not call him by his name, but then he would have to explain _why_. And there's no way it let that happen.

So, as they started talking and walking together to the school, Robbins kept his tongue in, restraining himself as best as he could to not show anything each time his name was pronounced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say it was going to be a short story? Well, I suppose I was wrong then.
> 
> As you can see, we're only starting...
> 
> Sorry for those who wanted something small. It's not going to be very long, but I would not be surprised if it lasts 10 chapters, I hope it's not bothering you too much!
> 
> Once again: tell me if you want to see a OS about one of the reincarnates!
> 
> Also, I think I forgot to ask last time: did you guess who Jo was?


	5. Chapter 5

As expected, today wasn't a good day.

First thing first, Robbins could not bare heard his name. Which was great, because _everyone_ was calling him by his name. Well. Everyone but Alex. He was thankful to him for that, even if his best friend wasn't doing it for Robbins but himself.

Second thing second, now he started to remember, some memories would come back to him at random moments, and needless to say, it wasn't usually the good ones.  
Plus, he started to have headaches from them.

Third thing third, he couldn't help himself but he would notice all the little mannerisms the others were doing that were from their past lives, as well as some features on their body or face that were the same as before.

Last thing last, since Matthew remembered, things were now different between the group.

 

Before, all five of them were friends, Robbins and Alex being the closest due to their longterm relationship.  
When John announced to them he was an old soul, little to nothing changed.  
When Ulysse one day let slide in the conversation he had his revelation, things changed a bit, John and Ulysse becoming closer.  
When Alex let the world knows about who he was, things became a bit more awkward between him and Robbins, though only them seemed to notice. With Matthew and him being the last one not remembering anything, it was still comfortable enough for Robbins, because they were both in the same boat, and even started to bond more.

But then, Mat' remembered, and told everyone he was Lafayette, the last one in Alex's friend group. Since it happened yesterday, Robbins didn't have lot of time to see the changes, but today, especially after remembering these four together, the differences were here, lipid.

 

All four of them, reunited and friends again in this lifetime. Four best friends, that never have been able to fully be together again after Laurens'death, were reincarnated, at the same time, still friends, and without any imminent death threats or different countries to tear them apart.

Of course they would be closer than ever, cracking inside jokes after inside jokes, chatting playfully while jumping from the present to the past.

 

While Robbins at first hated to not understand any of their chatting, now he wished he was still clueless.

 

"You've been awfully quiet, Aaron," Matthew suddenly said as they were talking about some stories in their past lives. "Are you ok? I know that you must feel a bit left out by our pastalking!"  
"Pastalking?" couldn't help but ask Robbins.  
"Yeah, we decided, since we're talking about the past, we're going to put the two words together, and, tada! pastalking." helpfully explained Ulysse.

He couldn't believe they made up a word between yesterday and this moment.

"Don't worry, you can talk about your past as much as you want, I get it that you were best friends and all of that before, that's normal you want to talk about that," waved off Robbins.  
"Still, you're being really quiet," Mat' said again.  
"I've always been quiet."  
"I still remember you being more chatty, Aaron," Matt countered, adding a French accent with a playful wink.  
"Well, I don't remember me being 'chatty', Lafayette!" Robbins said, a bit harsher than it should have been.

There was a moment of silence.  
Robbins could feel the gaze of his friends on him.

He couldn't blame them to be surprised. After all, he never was the one to suddenly burst out when annoyed, especially when he knew it wasn't intended.  
Plus...

 

"Why did you call him Lafayette?" asked Alex.

 

Alex tried to look nonchalant while asking this, but Robbins could see his foot tapping slightly on the ground, showing he was impatient to hear the answer; that, with his arms crossed, and his eyes locked on him, could only mean one thing: Alex deadly wanted his answer, and Robbins wasn't sure why...

"Well, isn't it his name?" answered Robbins.  
"Yeah. The name of his past-self. That he revealed to you yesterday. Why did you use it?"  
"Alex..." began John, putting his hand on the red headed's arm.  
"What? I'm just asking!"

Robbins tried to restrain himself to sigh.

 

_If only he had kept his mouth shut..._

 

Well, knowing it was because Matt found him too quiet that this stupid thing started, maybe he should have, actually, talk more.

 

Now, how to get out of this mess..?

 

"You were using his name from right to left while you were 'pastalking', so I must have used it without thinking after hearing it so many times..." improvised on the spot Robbins.

Yeah, that should work.

They REALLY used their past names a lot.

 

"I see..." Alex said.

Was he... disappointed? Relieved? Both???  
Robbins couldn't tell, and he honestly didn't like it.

 

Why would Alex be disappointed or relieved by his answer?? Or BOTH???

 

"Well, now that we figured out the big mystery of our dear friend Aaron calling me by my past life's name, can we please get back to the talking?" asked Matthew. "Break ends soon, and there's still a lot I want to..."

 

Yes, the bell rang right at this moment.

 

Robbins sighed, thanking god for avoiding more 'pastalking' he didn't want to deal with.  
_____________________

As soon as he left the class at the end of the day, Robbins was grabbed by two pair of hands.

He didn't even had to look up to know it was Matt and Ulysse. The big black hands with a dark blue bracelet on the right wrist could only be Ulysse's hands, while the fine and gracious white hands with some blue nails polish could only be to Matthew.

He looked up anyway, only to find two grinning dumbass.

"What?" Robbins asked, restraining a sigh.

He just wanted to go home and stay lock in his room until the end of the universe.  
But it wasn't at his friends' taste, apparently.

Matthew started: "We heard your math class has a pretty girl in it..."  
"... and that she was interested in you!" Ulysse grinned as he ended.

 

Oh my god.

Really?

 

This time, Robbins didn't restrain his sigh before answering "Since when are you interested in my love life? Haven't you enough with John and Alex?"

 

Oh yeah, funny story: these two were dating. Even funnier: they started dating, and Alex had his revelation one week after.

True soulmates, right?

 

"Well, it was fun at first (and don't get me wrong, it's STILL pretty fun), but it kind of get boring to only have one target... so we thought it might be nice to tease you too~!" explained Matt with a big smile on his face.

"So, what do you think of her? I suppose she tried to talk to you, right?" asked Ulysse, the same stupid smile than Matthew.

"No, she didn't. But a girl was sick today, so maybe that's why," Robbins eventually compelled to answer.  
Of course, this draws disappointed looks on his friend's face.

"Really?" began Ulysse "Come on! Why today!"  
"Do you at least know her name?" Matt added hopefully.

...

...

Does he know it? Does he know her name?

...

Yes. Yes he do.

 

_"Barrow Liza" asked the teacher in his bored voice, usual tone when he was checking if everyone was there._

_No response._

_"Barrow Liza?" he repeated._

_A boy's voice perked up "She's sick today, sir".  
"I see... thank you, Theo. Let's continue then. Barrow Theo?"_

_"Here!" the boy said enthusiastically with a smile.  
As the teacher kept telling name, Robbins'head started to hurt him again._

_Already preparing himself for memories, he was surprised to the lack of them coming back. Instead, his focus went more on the boy sitting three ranks and two places away.  
He had dark skin with wonderful dreads, and a big, infectious smile._

_Theo Barrow._

_Wait._

 

Theo.

 

_Shit._

_This could be one of his Theo. Knowing how lucky he was lately, that wouldn't surprised him._

_Oh no. What if Liza was also one of his Theo?_

_Haven't Theo said Liza was sick?  
Oh no, god, please no, not that, please, no, not again, he couldn't..._

_Calm down. She may just have a cold._

_In March._

_Can you still catch cold in March?_

_Plus it wasn't that cold lastly..._

_Oh no.  
Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh noh o no hono honohonohonohonohononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononon.._

_"Robbins Aaron?" he heard after feeling a hit against his arm._

_A rappid look on his left showed him a girl with freckles, brown eyes and black hair, a lock of hair dyed in red, looking at him with worried eyes. "You ok? You paced out for a while... you're Aaron, right?"  
"I..."_

_"Aaron isn't there?" Mr. Smith asked.  
"Oh, umh, yes, sorry, I'm here!" Robbins exclaimed, standing up in one jump._

_Some laughs could be heard.  
Of course he would make a fool of himself._

_"So, what were you daydreaming of?" the girl next to him asked as he sat back._  
"Nothing," Robbins quickly answered.  
"Huh." 

_There was a moment of silence as the teacher asked them to take their book._

_"So, what's your name? Mine's Nathalie, but everyone call me Nath'" the girl said with a smile._  
"... you already know my name, that's why you hit my arm."  
"No, I guessed you were Aaron Robbins because I saw you daydream while a name was called and not answered. I want to know how you would like me to call you." 

_...  
She's special..._

_"Robbins," he answered in a whisper, almost too fast to be understand._  
"I'm sorry, what?"  
"Robbins," he said, this time more firmly. 

_"You can call me Robbins," he repeated._

_"Well, nice to meet you, Robbins!" she smiled._

_It felt nice._

_"Oh, by the way," Nath interrupted. "I'm best friend with Liza, Theo's twin, so I can arrange you a date if you want to."  
"What?!"_

_Nath just winked at him with a knowing smile._

_Could he really..? But no, wait. He didn't even know which Theo is who, not even if it really was his Theodosias.  
And what if things repeated itself? He couldn't... no, that was a really, really bad idea, he needed to put himself back together, stop thinking about that and just go for it! wait no that wasn't what he wanted to say, rushing things never ended well, he should just wait and see how it turns, not go too fast but if he go too slow it may be too late but he couldn't just do that not without knowing who was who and even if..._

_"Hey, Nath to Robbins, Robbins do you hear me? Robbins...!_

"... Aaron! Hey, buddy, come back to me!" Ulysse snapped his fingers under Robbins's gaze, which was currently upon to the ground.  
Snapping suddenly back to reality, Robbins jumped.

"I... uhm... sorry," he said.  
"Don't worry, it was just weird. An instant we're talking about your future girlfriend, the other you're spacing out," reassured him Matt, in his very own way.

"Hey, I just received a text, Alex and John are waiting for us in the park. There's apparently a little party with free food, and we should hurry if we want them to keep the best parts for us," Ulysse said. "Let's go?"

"Free food, tu dis? I'm in!" smiled Matthew. "Aaron?"

 

He thought about it. Really. And usually, that wouldn't bother him to go a bit with his friends in a park, especially in such a beautiful day, and with a promise of free food.

But...

 

"It'll be without me guys, sorry. Bye!"

He left without waiting for an answer, ready to get back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... three new characters are introduced! (well, four if you count mr Smith).
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget, you can ask me if you want me to write a OS about one of the characters!


	6. Chapter 6

"Hello, little bro!" a cheerful voice greeted him.

Robbins muttered a "Hey" back before leading to his room.

He could feel Jo's glance on his back. The thought of her waiting for him, only to be greeted with his bad mood, made him feel bad.

 

Jo was amazing. She often was the one cooking, their parents going back home at 20 most of the time; she took care of him when he was younger and their parents couldn't be at home the weekend. She always acted comprehensively to him, offering her support but also not staying with him when he wanted to be left alone. He may have been abusing a bit too much of her patience, actually.  
Though Robbins loved his parents, he was loving even more his big sister, an awesome 20 years old soon to start college.

 

With a sigh, Robbins threw his bag on his bed, before slumping on it. He then managed to stay still like that, eyes lost on his ceiling, arms spread wide across the bed, bag beside him, for 15 minutes.

His thoughts were going all over the place, jumping from past, to present, to even further past, crossing memories with dreams, thoughts galloping around and slowly making less and less sense as time passed.

In the end it was a soft touch that woke him up.

 

"Hello Aaron" his mother told him with her warming smile, stroking his hair.  
"Hello mom..." he answered, his brain still half in a dream.  
"Did you sleep well? You must have been tired... your dad cooked today, so I hope you're hungry."  
"Yes I think I am."

She smiled at him once again, then got up and left the room, thinking to slowly close the door behind her.  
_____________________

The dinner went on without much incident, and was actually a good moment, filled with joy and laughs.

Robbins never knew how lucky he was to have his whole family with him until remembering.  
He almost could fantasize that eating with his family could have been this way in his past life, with his sister and his parents. Hearing his name being called wasn't even that much of a nightmare, if he was picturing this as a happy moment from... before.

 

But then, his bad luck stroke back, remembering him what his real past life was, as a headache and some flashes got him.

 

"Aaron..?" Jo called first, seeing her little brother suddenly putting a hand on his head, wincing in pain.  
"I'm... I'm fine..." he muttered.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see his parents getting up, ready to help him if whatever happens.  
"I'm fine, really, don't worry..." he tried to calm them down.  
He even managed to smile.

 

Unsurprisingly, it didn't work.

 

"Aaron," his mom started, "what's wrong?"

"Are you sick?" his dad said.

"Aaron, are you ok?!" Jo exclaimed.

 

They were all talking at the same time, it hurt, why are they talking at the same time?!

 

...

"Don't worry, I'm fine."  
It was true now. The headache had started to fade away, only leaving behind new bad memories.

Robbins could stil feel the worried glances on him.

 

Well, the dinner was definitely ruined, now.

 

"Ronnie," his mother started, "I think you should go back to bed..."  
Robbins looked at her, a bit unsure.  
"I'll bring you your plate," reassured his father, "so don't worry about missing more of these awesome spaghetti!"

Robbins smiled shyly at his parents.

 

The matter wasn't about the spaghetti, as good as it was.

But Robbins didn't want to get up and let his family behind, him being left all alone in his room, with only his thoughts and newfound memories to keep him company. Not yet.

Getting up and going to his room meant to admit he was weak, to admit something was wrong with him, to let them be worried about him, to let them getting close to the problem, to let them _know_ the problem.

Going to his room meant being alone and stuck with memories and fear of someone _finding out_.

 

"It's alright now, don't worry about me," he said, using this smile he was so used to do a long time ago.  
His family looked at each other with worry, again, but nodded anyway, accepting his decision.

 

 

The dinner ended in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely not a short story.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you're all liking it so far!


	7. Chapter 7

"You look awful."  
"Hello to you too, Alex."

Alex didn't answer to Robbins and just looked at him.

"What?" Robbins snapped.

"Did you spend the night watching shows?" his best friend asked, a look of wonder -and slight disbelief- on his face.  
Robbins decided it didn't deserve an answer and started walking.

"Oh, come on!" Alex exclaimed, throwing his arms in mid air, while starting following Robbins.

This made him smile at the silliness of his friend.  
____________________

Alex was talking passionately about a debate he saw yesterday on tv with his family, when their friends joined them.  
Laurens soon got into the one sided discussion and him and Alex had started to discuss the subject, forgetting about the three others.

Not that it was bothering Ulysse and Matt', that a quick eavesdropping revealed they were talking about... the chemistry of lams..?

 

Robbins didn't even want to know.

 

He decided that the discussion between John and Alex was certainly better to hear.

Or not, seeing how the debate seemed to have found a way to become heavy flirting between these two.

 

Robbins sighed, understanding this traject will be without talking to anyone.  
_____________________

They were close to the school, Ulysse and Mat' leading, when suddenly Matthew turned around to face the rest of his friends.  
"That makes me think..." he started. "How is your work for Washington's class?"  
"You mean Watson?" Robbins asked.  
"Yeah."

 

Right. They had their history class today.  
Robbins didn't really know who he could talk about.

 

"Well, for myself," answered Alex, "it's going pretty good, though I'm not sure how I can summarize ten pages without leaving important things out."

"Oh mon dieu."  
"Really Alex?"  
A loud laugh, certainly from Ulysse.

Robbins sighed before talking; "Because of course you would write ten pages about yourself... I'm actually surprised to learn you didn't write more."  
"Oh, it's not about me!" Alex exclaimed.  
"Wait, what?"

Robbins looked at his best friend with shock.

"You didn't write about you..?"  
"No, I'm writing about Eliza. She deserves it more than me."

 

They all looked at Alex with a mix of awe and surprise.

Then:  
"But don't you think she's already going to write about her?" Robbins asked.

It seemed to make Alex thinks.   
"Well," Jonh said. "I suppose that means you need to talk with her."

The thought drained Alex's face of all its color.  
"B-But..." he started. "That means I'm also going to need to talk with Angelica!"  
"And Peggy" Matthew added.

 

Robbins could see Alex starting to panick.  
"I can go with you to ask if you want to," he blurted without thinking.  
"Really?" a hopeful best friend exclaimed.

 

_Real bad move, Aaron._

 

"Yeah, of course," Robbins said.

 

It was too late to say no, now he proposed it.

 

Robbins didn't want to see the Schuyler sisters. Especially not Angelica, who must want his death, and Eliza, who certainly wanted to murder him.  
He didn't know for Peggy Schuyler, but he wouldn't be surprised if she was sharing the murderous intentions of her sisters.

 

But now, they didn't know who he was.  
So if he could keep going with the lie, everything would turn out good, right?  
____________________

"Uuuh, Eliza, we need to talk!" Alex almost screamed in panic.

That made him gain an amused look from the students around and said Eliza.

"Yes, Alexander?" she asked with a smile, eyebrows raised in questioning.  
"I, uhm..." he started.

 

Then, they just looked at each other for a moment.

You could see them talking in silence, not even needing words.

 

They hugged.

 

"Alright, alright, that's really sweet and all, but Alex, don't forget why you wanted to talk to Elise," interrupted John, who had decided he might as well stay with his boyfriend and Robbins instead of directly going in the classroom.  
"Right. Uhm, Eliza, it was about the work for Mr. Watson..."  
"Oh, I also wanted to talk to you about it!" she exclaimed.

They then proceeded to learn that they both decided to do their work about the other. Which was really sweet.  
Which made John a bit jealous, too.

In the end, they separated way as Elise was joining her best friends/sisters from the past, and Alex, John and Robbins went to take their respective seats.

 

"Well, it went way better than I thought it would," started Robbins. "It was a good idea to wait for Sky and Meggy to go in the classroom. Otherwise, there would have been a slaughter."

This made Alex chuckles lightly. He then said, in a more serious tone:  
"But you know, I think we have a bit overthink this. After all, Ange... Sky would certainly not have done more than slap me in the face for being an idiot and dueling. No bloodshed or slaughter to be affraid of."  
"I suppose..."

Robbins gulped.  
He didn't think about Alex at all when he said slaughter. He was thinking about him, and only him.  
He shouldn't have done that.  
He should have thought about Alex in this situation, not him!  
He should have at least thought a bit about his best friend and how this encounter may have an impact on him, and not only about himself.

 

He should have... he should have done better.

 

"Hello, everyone!" the voice of Mr Watson put Robbins ouf of his thoughts. "For today, we're going to continue where we had stopped last time, and I'll left ten minutes at the end of the class so you can ask me questions for the work I asked you to do, and tell me who you chose to talk about."

"Now," he continued. "Does anyone want to say something?"

The room was left silent.  
It wasn't such a big deal, it happened all the time; after all, there're not enough students in one class to have every days covered by one revelation, and most of them already happened at this point...

 

But this time, it was different.

 

This time, Robbins knew he should have raised his hand. He was the last one in this class, and it was kind of expected he also was a reincarnate. Which he was.  
He should have then immediately raised his hand, especially knowing how much he wanted to be a reincarnate.

But he stayed silent, which felt _wrong_.

 

"I see..." Watson said. "Well, let's get started then!  
____________________

It was the end of Wastson's class. There was only a few questions, most of them about practical things like the fonts allowed to do the work, or if they had to follow a specific arrangement.  
Watson added some explanations, and answered to Alex's question if he could talk about him and Eliza's kids in his work.

Then, Watson asked to all of them to come individually to his desk and tell him who they decided to work on.

 

_Awesome._

 

Robbins made his best to be the slowest he could, so he will be the last one to go to the desk.  
Which was a great move, seeing how everyone but him seemed to have find someone to work on.

Robbins could see a raised eyebrow from his teacher when Alex told him his choice. When Eliza said her choice right after Alex, Washington smiled with fondness to the two.

Robbins let his gaze fell a bit longer on his best friend and Elise, and saw Sky, along with Meggy, walking in their direction.  
Then Alex got slapped by Sky. Robbins could swear Alex said something along "ok, I deserved it". This incident was followed by a hug from all the sisters, and they left together, talking.

 

He was the last one in the classroom, and could feel Watson's gaze on him, waiting.

Seeing he had finished put all his stuff in his bag, Robbins knew the time has come.

 

"Hello Aaron,"mr. Watson said, making Robbins shivered lightly. "So? Who did you choose?"

Robbins sweated nervously.  
"I... I'm affraid I've got no one, sir."

Watson nodded pensively.

"I see... well, maybe I can help you? Which period would interest you the most? The same than Alexand... Alex, I suppose?"

 

"... Uh... y-yes sir! I think..."

 

"Then I have an idea," he smiled.

 

"What about Aaron Burr?" Washington asked.

 

....

no.

 

no.

 

no!

 

No!

No! No! No! no no no no no!

 

NO!

 

 

" **NO!** "

 

The scream reasoned in the empty classroom, echoed by Robbins' hands slammed on the desk.

Mr. Watson looked at him with wide eyes.

 

...

"I'm sorry mr. Watson," _Aaron_ said.

"Don't worry, it's alright... why such a hatred for him, though?"  
"You... you should know it better than me!" almost screamed again Robbins.

 

"... Is that because of the duel?"

 

Robbins looked at this man.  
Of course it was. Why would there need any other reasons to despise him?

 

_Well, you know the others..._

 

"Aaron?" called Washington before Robbins could get lost in his thoughts.  
"It's just... yes, for that. The duel. But also because he wasn't good. But mostly the duel. He... he killed my best friend, sir."

"He killed Alex's past life, you mean. And he wasn't as bad as the history books depict him. That's also why I gave you this work; to show that peole aren't as unidimensional than what you learned."

He looked at him with a dizzy look.

 

What was he talking about? Aaron knew himself better than anybody else. It's not because the president saw a glimpse of him before that he knew him.  
Only him knew him.  
And what he knew was that he wasn't any good, whatever the general wanted to believe.

 

"I still prefer not to, sir," he said firmly with a cold voice.

 

Washington looked at him once more, this time seeming a bit worried. But why? Aaron was normal and perfectly alright.

 

"I see... well, maybe try to find something once you're at home, I'll be looking up for someone for you to talk about. Come back see me tomorrow."  
"Yes sir." Aaron nodded before leaving the room.

 

He could feel a headache.

 

It was too hot in this corridor.  
Did someone started a fire close?

 

He thought back at his discussion with Washington.

 

Wait.

 

What were they talking about again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're still enjoying this!
> 
> This chapter was longer than usual, I think? It also has a lot of cuts, but I didn't want to make scenes longer than necessary.


	8. Chapter 8

Hot.  
It’s hot.

Why is it so hot?

He was feeling like dying.

Why?

 

The smell of powder.  
The violent, incessant noises of a battlefield.  
Shouting from everywhere, contradicting each other.  
Attack. Retreat. Attack! Retreat!

It’s so confusing.

It’s so hot.

A name is being called. It’s his. It’s…

 

_“Robbins!”_

 

… but that’s not his name.

His mind left the battlefield.

This place was busy, noisy, filled with a constant murmur, only troubled by shouting from time to time.  
Everything, the heat, the noise, the relentless agitation, the people passing by, everything was so overwhelming, making his head aching even more.  
It was so much, too much, he couldn’t stand on his feet anymore.

 

Where was he? When was he? Who was he? Something wasn’t feeling right.

His hand met the coldness of a wall.  
He let it cooled his arm.

But it wasn’t enough.

He was still feeling the heat, it was till aching.

Aaron wanted to slam himself against the wall. Anything to make the heat go.  
But he was in a public place, he couldn’t do that.

 

“Robbins!” the person called again, this time concern lacing his voice. Her. It sounded masculine, but Aaron knew it was a girl’s voice. He didn’t know how, but he knew.

 

“Robbins, are you ok?!” Aaron felt a hand on his shoulder.  
He was brought back to reality.

 

_Robbins_ looked at the girl in front of him, her face matching the concern tone of her voice.

“Hey, Nath’,” he started. “I’m sorry, I was lost in my thoughts. What’s the matter?”  
Nathalie looked at him, clearly not believing her friend.

“Well,” she said, “I wanted to give you Theo’s phone number, since after I talked with him about you, he asked me to, so… here.” She gave him a paper with some numbers scribbled on it.  
“But are you sure you’re fine?” she added as Robbins put the number in his phone.  
“Yes, don’t worry.”

 

Well, not really. The headache was still there, but at least, it wasn’t as hot as before. And even if it could still be bad, what could he do? It was normal to feel some discomfort after your revelation.  
Though Robbins wasn’t sure that what he just lived was usual. He wasn’t even sure of what he just lived, actually.

 

“Anyway..,” Nath’ said, “Maybe it’d be better if you ask to leave sooner because you’re feeling sick? I mean, you’re quite pale…”

Robbins was about to answer, when another voice made itself heard.  
“A! You’re here! We were waiting for you, but you weren't coming, so we got worried… wait, who’s that?” Alex stopped right in track after seeing Nathalie.

 

Robbins sighed.  
“Nath’, meets Alex, the idiot I call ‘best friend’. Alex, meets Nathalie, we’re in the same math class.”

A smile splattered across Alex’s face as he hold out his hand for Nathalie to shake.  
“Nice to meet you! Are you the Girl Laf’ and Herc’ told me about?”  
Somehow, this red head idiot succeed at letting the capital ‘G’ being heard.

 

“That depends, what did they say?” Nath’ answered, shaking the hand.  
“Well, you know, Ronnie’s special someone…”   
“What?!”

Nath’ gave to Robbins a look.  
“You already have someone..?” she asked with suspicion.

 

_Thank you Alex._

 

“No, no, not at all!” Robbins cleared up. “There’s just a rumor about a girl who is interested in me, and my friends are making a big deal out of it.”  
“Oh, I see! I was worried for a moment… though I should have guessed you weren’t like that…” Nathalie admitted, a bit ashamed.  
“What do you mean?” Alex asked.

Robbins wasn’t sure what his friend was asking about. But Nath’ must have got it, since she answered.  
“Nothing to worry about! I was just afraid Rob’ was a player!”  
“What? Why?”  
“Alex, that’s none of your business!” cut Robbins.

 

Nath’ giggled, while Alex just stared at his best friend.

“Anyway…” Robbins said. “Thank you for the number, Nath'. I'll think about calling.”  
“Of course! Also, there's my number on the other side of the paper, if you want to talk with me outside of the school!”  
“Thank you, you're awesome.”

Nath' just winked playfully at Robbins.  
“Bye Alex, bye Robbins!” she last said before leaving the two best friends.

 

“… Why did she call you by your last name?” asked Alex.  
“Because.” Robbins rolled his eyes, hoping it will be enough to diffuse the question. “Let's go to the others.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I lost inspiration for one week, then when it hit back, I was in class. Luckily, it was a computer class, so I could write my ideas, but I didn't think about the fact I'll need to be in school to keep writing. So, I finished this chapter yesterday, and now, ta-da! It's here!
> 
> I hope you all liked it!


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of the day was spent in a numbness.  
Many times Robbins had to be call back to reality by one of his friends, as he was asked something and no answering, gazing into space.

Each time he responded to his friends worried looks he just got lost in his thoughts. Each time it was an half truth.

Indeed, he was lost in his thoughts. But the said 'thoughts' were either memories from before, either confused thoughts mixing past and present. More than once, when Alex was the one bringing Robbins back to them, Robbins's mind made him think it was the man he killed, and not his best friend, who was talking to him.

 

A sort of dizziness was clouding Robbins's brain, and he wasn't able to concentrate well in class. The worst was for their English class, in which the students were constantly whispering to each other, making their teacher difficult to listen to, and worsening the headache.

Hearing his first name was making Robbins either flinch, either collapse in the past's memories. When he was hearing it.

 

When the nightmare of school was done, Robbins started to head back home without waiting for Alex.  
He didn't need his best friend's usual talking. The fastest he was home, the better.

"You could... h... huf... have waited for me, Ronnie!" Robbins heard Alex complained from behind, seemingly having run to catch up with him.

Barely restraining an annoyed sigh, the black haired boy answered;  
"Sorry, I wanted to go home fast."

 

He didn't see Alex's hurt face.

 

"Are you telling me I'm slow?" the red haired asked.  
"Not specially, but I walk faster without you."  
"So you think I'm slowing you down?"

"Kinda, yes."

 

It's only after some more steps Robbins noticed he couldn't hear a second pair of feet walking down the street with him.  
He turned around to see Alex standing there, looking at him.

"Oh god..." Robbins whispered, as what must have happened drawn into him.  
"Look, Alex," he started. "I'm not sure how you could think that, but I wasn't meaning it in a bad way. I'm just really tired and I really want to go home the sooner I can, and, well, when we're walking together, we walk a bit slower than when I'm alone."

Alex stayed silent and looked at him for a moment.

"Well, I..." started Robbins.  
"Are you ok?" Alex cut.

This time, it was with worried eyes the red haired boy looked at his best friend.

 

Robbins gulped.

He couldn't just answer "I'm fine" like usual.  
This time, the question felt different. He couldn't say why, but Robbins felt it.

Alex would not accept a lie for an answer.

 

But Robbins couldn't just say the truth.

 

"I'm just feeling a bit tired today, I told you," he said.

"No. You've... you've been acting strange and distant for three days, now. I..." Alex looked down. "I want to know what's wrong, A."

 

Being worried for your friend when he's not acting as usual was a normal thing, and Robbins couldn't blame Alex for that, even if he was a bit ticked off by his attitude.  
But today, after everything, he didn't want to stay calm, he didn't want to keep for himself his thoughts, his feelings. He didn't want to wait, think about what he was going to say, he just wanted to burst everything out without caring for what would come next.

 

"Oh really, now? I'm the one acting strange?" his voice came out calm, cold.

Alex got his gaze back on his best friend, unsettled by his change of attitude.

 

"I'M the one acting _strange_?" Robbins repeated, his voice trembling on the end. "FUCK, ALEX, OUT OF US TWO, _**YOU**_ ARE THE ONE ACTING THE STRANGEST. _**YOU**_ ARE THE ONE WHO CHANGED SINCE REMEMBERING, _**YOU**_ ARE THE ONE WHO STARTED TO BE MORE CAREFUL WHEN TALKING IF I WAS AROUND, _**YOU**_ ARE THE ONE WHO STARTED TO BE TENSER WHEN I WAS MAKING A MOVE IN YOUR DIRECTION TOO FAST, _**YOU**_ ARE THE ONE WHO STARTED TO THINK TWICE BEFORE INVITING ME TO HANG OUT. _YOU_ ARE THE ONE WHO CHANGED TOWARD ME. TELL ME, SINCE WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CALLED ME 'AARON', ALEX? FUCKING TELL ME!"

Robbins ended his tirade out of breath, tears in the eyes and red in the face.

Alex just stood there, dizzy, surprise painted on his face.

 

Robbins turned around and started to walk again, already regretting having talked at all.  
_____________________

"Hello, little bro!" Jo cheered as usual when hearing the door being opened.

Then it slammed, making her jump in surprise.

"Aaron..?" she called.

 

He didn't answer and instead rushed up the stairs to his room, slamming the door behind him once again.  
_____________________

He wanted to punch himself. Why was he like this? Why has he said that? WHY COULDN'T HE JUST SHUT UP?

He cried. He cried, and he cried again. He was feeling sick, he was feeling worthless.

Why was he back? Why did he get reincarnated? Why did he receive a second chance? Why did he have to remember? WHY COULDN'T HE JUST STAY DEAD?  
Everything was hurting. His head, his breath, his heart, his body. The light was hurting, the noises were hurting, the silence was hurting, the memories were hurting, his thoughts were hurting, e. very. thing. was. hurting.

Shallow respiration, heart pounding, eyes blind by tears.

Confused thoughts, confused memories.

What was the past, what was the present? Is this smile from his mother, his sister, his mother, his wife, his daughter? Is this smell of cake from now, from then? Are these laughs the ones from Alex, from Aaron, from Robbins? Are the bruises on his body from his uncle, from a fall from a tree, from the stairs? The mockin laughs, were they from Jefferson? From a kid in third grade?

 

Why everything was hurting?

 

Slowly, he could feel his body calming down. His breath went back to normal, the tears were draining, and his heart was beating like it was supposed to again.

Soon, he was filled with the calm of the nothingness, the one you can feel only after letting everything out, when you don't feel any emotions anymore.

 

Robbins thought back on himself. 

 

He was such a mess.

Unable to hear his name without flinching, headaches striking from here and there, everyone making him remember the past he wanted to forget.

He was hating his younger self, the one he still was some days ago, and who wanted so much to be a reincarnate, and most importantly, to have his memories back.  
But he also was hating his now self, who was on the nerves, letting his anger for himself go to the ones he cared about, mistreating his sister and his friends, unable to accept his friends' help.

But how could he?

 

How could he accept their help, when he would have to told them the truth and who he was, making them hate him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVED writing this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you're still enjoying this!
> 
>  
> 
> Comments are more than welcome!


	10. Chapter 10

Robbins didn't wait for Alex this morning. He even left his house a bit sooner than usual, surprising Jo who just started making breakfast.  
That way, he would not meet Alex or the others accidentally.

On his way, Robbins thought with relief that today was friday, which means that by the end of his schoolday, he will have two days to just stay in his room and not interacting with anyone, which means no worries about screwing up.

Now, he just had to hope today will be better than yesterday...  
________________________

After what happened with Ronnie yesterday, Alex had thought a lot about what his best friend said.  
Alex has thought that maybe he should try to apologize to him, for not seeing he was hurt.

But then, A didn't tell him anything until this moment, so he couldn't know.

This thought hadn't restrain Alex to feel shitty nonetheless, though he was a bit upset about his best friend's reaction too.  
It was very conflicting for him.

After thinking about the best way to act for hours, Alex had decided to wake up earlier this morning, so he could wait for Ronnie and talk with him.

 

That's how, when Alex walked to his and A usual point of meeting, all he saw was the backpack of his best friend as the last mentionned was turning the corner by the end of the street.

 

Alex then knew running after him would be worthless, so instead he waited a bit before going to the meeting point with Ulysse, John and Matthew, also deserted of any 'best friend'.  
________________________

Once at the school, Robbins directly walked for his first class, biology. Of course, he wasn't late, but since he was trying to avoid everyone, he decided he might as well go to the classroom without waiting. Half of the time, their biology teacher was already in there, grading papers.

"Yes?" the voice of Robbins's teacher rose up from the room after the boy knocked.

Shily, Robbins opened the door. "Hello, miss Janes, can I stay here please?" he asked.

" Aaron!"  
Robbins shuddered.  
"Of course, you can come in!" miss Janes answered enthusiastically. "I'm never against some company, you know!"

Robbins just nod with understanding before going for his usual sit.

 

The silence only disturbed by the scratching on the paper and mumbled comments by miss Jones as she was correcting the last test was really appeasing, and soothing the headache Robbins had started to have while walking in the loud corridor.  
He wouldn't have mind spend the whole day like this, but sadly, classes have to start at a moment or another.

The strident bell ring made Robbins winced.  
"You never really got used to it, huh?" miss Janes smiled to him.

After a moment, a herd of students went in, to Robbins (and certainly miss Janes)'s dismay.

 

"Quite the shock seeing you here," Robbins heard from his right.  
"What do you mean?" he answered without even looking to John who just sat down next to him.

"Well, since apparently you weren't there when Alex came to your meeting spot, we all thought you were sick, explaining why you didn't walk to the school with us."  
"My alarm didn't ring," Robbins answered almost immediately.  
"That's why you were in class before all of us," John answered right back.  
"I woke up really late, my sister drove me before going to her job."  
"Yeah, and that's explain why Alex clearly saw you walking this morning."

Robbins felt silent. Alex _what_ now?  
Why was he up so early?

 

"He told us on the way about yesterday," continued John with concern. "Do you want to t-"  
"Leave." Robbins answered coldly.

"What?"  
"I said. Leave."

The curly haired boy gave to his friend a long look.  
"Fine," he eventually said, taking his still closed backpack and leaving to sit next to someone else.  
________________________

Robbins spent his first break enclosed in a bathroom; he didn't want to be dragged somewhere by the guys so they could talk, and he definitely not wanted to see John and Alex.

When the bell rang, he has walked as fast as he could to his geography class, and sat down.

 

"Robbins!" a male voice said.

That surprised him. Nobody was calling him Robbins, only Nath', and it wasn't her voice.  
Which means...

 

Glazing rapidly on his left, Robbins saw the dark skin and charming smile of Theo.

"Can I sit with you?" he asked.

Taken aback, all Robbins could do was babble a small 'yes'. 

"Thank you!"

 

They both sat on silence before Theo broke it after approximately 5 seconds.

"I'm glad you're here, this is the only class in which I'm not with Lisa, so sometimes I feel a bit lonely-"  
Theo cut himself to wave to a guy passing by.

 

Whoever this guy was, Robbins decided to keep an eye on him.

 

"-but since you're here, and friend with Nath', I thought it might be nice to sit with you!" Theo ended his sentence. "Plus, I wanted to get to know you for a while, so..."

Theo smiled brightly to him.

 

Robbins gulped and nod.

 

They didn't actually talk that much after that, since the teacher started the class soon after.  
_____________________

"Want to eat with us?" Theo proposed by the end of their class.

Robbins looked at him.

 

Not gonna lie, he wanted to. Even just so he could spend more time with Theo.

But he wasn't sure it was a good idea.  
After all, he still didn't know if Theo was his daughter's reincarnation, and god forbid if he was. The simplest way would be to ask him, but it would not only come out of nowhere, but also made Robbins revealed himself.  
Not only that, but Robbins would always eat with Alex, John, Math' and Ulysse for lunch.

Though, with how he has been with them lately, Robbins wouldn't be surprised if the guys were hating him and not wanting to see him.

Maybe he should just eat alone...

 

Robins was visibly taking long to answer, since Theo started to talk again. "Crap, I should have know you would be eating with your friends, I'm sorry to have asked! You can say no, don't worry."  
Despite his happy tone, the boy seemed disappointed.

"It'll be a pleasure to eat with you!" Robbins exclaimed right away.

Theo's face light up at these words.  
"Let's go, then!"  
_______________________

Robbins followed Theo to the dining hall.

He was both regretting his decision and beaming to the fact he was with Theo.

 

"So, Robbins," Theo started. "What's your favorite color?"

Robbins blinked, surprised. "What?"  
This let a giggle out of Theo.

"I told you I wanted to get to know you more! So I figured I could ask you something like that!"

Robbins smiled.  
"Purple," he answered.

Theo nodded approvingly, and Robbins knew he did well.

 

He never had a real favorite color, but when he was looking at Theo, he knew it would be purple.  
Not because the boy was wearing a purple shirt, though it may have influenced him. But because when he first _saw_ Theo, that was the color coming to his mind.

A calm, soothing color, yet powerful. A color that could seem like nothing, but was now the most wonderful in Robbins's opinion. A color that was wearing grief, but also hope for a better future.

 

They chatted for a moment like that, Theo asking something about Robbins's interest, and Robbins answering, watching with anticipation Theo's reaction, hoping to see him approve.

When they finally got their food, they started to look around for Nathalie and Lisa.

 

"Over there!" Robbins heard a female voice calling from a table in a corner of the dining hall.

Theo made an happy smile and indicated to Robbins the direction of the table.

 

As he was following the boy with the wonderful smile, Robbins caught a group of four people waving at him from the corner of his eyes.  
He stopped.

Alex, John, Matthew and Ulysse were sitting there, calling Robbins to eat with them. They even kept him a seat.

He hesitated. Looked at the guys, his food, Theo, Nath' and Lisa, and then the guys again. His eues went back to Theo, who've stopped to walk to look at Robbins with curiosity, certainly wondering why he was standing in the middle of the hall.

Robbins gave a last look to Alex and co., who were now frowning at their... 'friend''s lack of reaction.

 

Robbins gave them an apologetic look he was sure they didn't catch, and followed back Theo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not that happy with Alex's part, but I don't really know how to make it in a different way, so... if you have any advice to make it better, please tell me!
> 
> I hope you're still enjoying this, and thank you for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Just to tell you there will be some words and expressions that won't make sense at a moment. I put this * next to them, and you will find an explanation to it in the end notes.

"You're not eating your fries?" Lisa asked to Robbins with interest.  
"You can have them if you want."

An amused smile made its way on Robbins's face, as Lisa poured his fries on her plate.

"I swear, one day you're going to have a stroke. There's way too much salt on these," Nathalie taunted her best friend.  
"At least I would have enjoyed life as it's fullest," Lisa immediately answered back.  
"Yeah, but I'll be sad if I was to lose you."  
"Shit you're right. Rob' take all your devilish fries back, I can't let my girl down like that!"

The two girls shared a small laugh, as Theo looked at them with fondness.

 

Robbins was definitely not in awe when seeing this.

Definitely not.

 

"Anyway, as much as I don't want to abandon my girl, wasting these fries seems like a bad idea. You sure you don't want them back, Robbins?"  
"No, I'm fine, I'm not hungry."  
"Really not, since you gave me your meat and let me half of your salad," Theo joked. "Unless it was an attempt at seduction by food? Because if it was, it worked."

Robbins laughed without answering.

 

Yes, maybe he let Theo steal a bite of his too-much-cooked-at-his-taste steak because he thought the boy would like it.

But that was it.

He really wasn't hungry.  
Just eating his half salad has been difficult; his mouth was dry whenever he took a bit, swallowing was hard, and his stomach would start to twist once the food made it to there.

 

Theo, Lisa and Nath' have started to talk again, and Robbins let his mind wandered away, the discussion strangely soothing the noises all around.

 

_A dinner in a 18-19th century house.  
There's four people eating together._

_Something wasn't quite right, as if it was a mix of menories more than an actual one._

_Next to him, Theodosia, his beautiful wife. In front of him, little Theo, his little girl named after her mother. And then, next to Theo, facing his wife, one of Theo's friend. A french girl. Robbins was trying to remember her name.  
Aaron opened his mouth to ask something to the girl._

 

"Robbins, are you ok?"  
"Nathalie..?" Robbins asked without thinking, snapping back to reality.  
"Nope, sorry, just me, Theo," the boy in front of Robbins said.

Robbins was ready to answer, but a strike of pain got him at this moment, worsening his constant slight headache.

"Rob'? Are you ok?" Lisa asked.  
"Yeah... it's alright, don't worry..."

He soon got rid of his pained face to make a reassuring smile.

 

He definitely needed training with this, since for the second time he's done it with his family (- _but they're not your family_ -), the smile failed at convincing them.

 

"Anyway," Robbins said. "We have a french class after this, right? Shouldn't we go, Nath'?"

The girl looked at him pointedly.  
"The class only start in 15 minutes, we have time, Robbins. And I didn't know you were aware that we are together in French."  
"Well, it just makes sense you're learning French, right? And yeah, 15 minutes, it's not so much, we should go if we don't want to be late."

Nathalie looked silently at her friend a bit more, before finally sighing.  
"Alright, I'll go with you now if you want to."  
She then turned towards the twins. "See ya'll in French, guys."

 

Robbins and her took their stuff and left the place, Robbins looking straight in front of him.  
From the corner of her eyes, Nath' saw Robbins's friends give them a look.  
_____________________

It was getting worse as time passed.

The headache was getting more and more painful, it was so hot he wanted to just get rid of his skin, and his train of thoughts was slowly losing sense. Sensation. Feelings. Thoughts.

Theo was nice and Aaron hoped that he shared his interest in him. The hallway was still too loud. Lisa was nice, Nathalie was a wonderfully amazingly amazing girl, Robbins liked her. Jolie* gentille* person nice and pretty boy he couldn't believe he taken french for math' the screams are hurting in there.  
My vision got clouded with dark and my feet let go of me.  
____________________

To say she was worried was the less of things*.

As she was walking, Nathalie studied a bit her friend.

Black hair and pale face, short. A black vest put on his white shirt, simple et elegant. Brown eyes looking right in front of them, but seemingly lost in the void*.  
A walk a bit hazardous, as if the automatic mode was a bit defailling*.

 

Aaron Robbins.

 

To say the truth, Nath' started to approach him to help Theo, analyze a bit the guy her best friend's brother was kinda into.  
But it would be a lie to say she only did it for that.

_Aaron..._

She used to know an Aaron. She lived with him for a while, studying with his daughter.  
It was nice.

Of course, it's not because someone share the same name than someone in your past life that it means this someone is the reincarnation of the someone from this past life, that'd be silly.

But...

 

_But Aaron Robbins was friend with the reincarnation of Alexander Hamilton._  
But Aaron Robbins was the calm one of his group of friends.  
But Aaron Robbins was the one with always a smile.  
But Aaron Robbins was the friend that seemed so caring to the ones he loves.  
But Aaron Robbins was the guy that made Theo's heart goes boom.  
But Aaron Robbins had this vibe to him, almost screaming who he was. 

But Aaron Robbins reminded her so much of Aaron Burr.

 

Leaving her thoughts, Nathalie turned her attention back to Robbins.

His gaze was still lost somewhere. He was trying to keep his composure, but Nath' could see he was trying to hide something.

She often wondered if it was really him, and if it was, if he remembered.  
The fact that he asked her to call him Robbins and not Aaron didn't help her questioning.  
But maybe it was just a coincidence.  
It was possible, after all. Yes, he thought that it would make sense for her to study French as if he knew she was from France, when she worked hard to get rid of the accent. But it still could be him doing a lucky guess.  
Maybe...

Maybe he got his revelation when they were eating? And he got a headache from the memories, and he wanted to leave the place for some time to organize his thoughts... that would make sen...

 

In front of her, Robbins put one foot in front of the other and fell on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jolie: 'pretty', used for female
> 
> *gentille: 'kind', used for female
> 
> *to say she was worried 'was the less of things': expression directly translated from french, 'était la moindre des choses'. Here, it means "Needless to say, she was worried".
> 
> *Eyes lost in the void: from the french expression 'les yeux perdus dans le vide'; means "gazing into space"
> 
> *defailling: it's from a french word, 'défaillant'. 'Défaillant' means "not working, dysfunctional". Defailling is just the word 'défaillant' that got turned into an english sounding word, but doesn't mean anything in both language.  
> ________________________
> 
> So, uhm... sad news, we're almost at the end, maybe one or two chapters left and then we're done. But, heh, I've got other projects for the future.
> 
> Also, I'm a college student, and right now, I'm in my revising period for the exams. So I'm not going to post anything soon, sorry. I'm leaving you on this cliffhanger.
> 
> Thank you for reading so far, and I hope you're still enjoying this! You can let a comment if you want to, I love comments.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Alex! For this special occasion, I'm going to post a new chapter of the fic about the guy who killed you (or, well, his reincarnation).

_He saw his childhood, how he lost his parents so young it's hard to remember their face without a painting. He saw his grandmother dying, his grandfather dying. He saw his older sister, and his uncle that took care of them. He saw the places on his body where he was hit. He saw a bright face, the one of a man he loved, before he left for the other side too. He saw the face of a young man, an immigrant who had nothing to lose and everything to prove. He saw the war and its horrors, he saw the bodies of soldiers, friends. He saw the face of a woman that would become everything to him, his love and his ally, the mother of his children, the loved one that left way too soon. He saw the young man going on and on, talking passionately for hours, and climbing to the top. He saw his daughter, the only child that would survive to adulthood, his ray of hope. He saw the faces of other children, young adults, people that all came in his life at a moment or the other. He saw the schemes that would happen behind closed doors, he saw the power of the words and the press, how they could destroy one so easily. He saw a gun pointing to the sky, while the other was pointing to the young man, not so young anymore. He saw his name being destroyed even more in the press as time passed. He saw his tears as he realized his daughter will never come. He saw a trial, his, and he saw his name being thrown to the mud even more. He saw the face of a woman he never really loved, and the face of a man looking so much like the one of a young man he met an eternity ago. He saw all his mistakes, all his faults, all his tragedies.  
And then, shining through, he saw a smile or a laugh from a child. He saw a woman being freed of the wrath of her not-anymore-husband. He saw people get acquainted rightly. He saw young people learning, studying. He saw soldiers, friends, being saved by his actions. He saw love and affection._

_And then he felt himself dying._  
___________________

Opening his eyes, Robbins had to shut them immediately at the brightness of the room.  
He then reopened them slightly, this time thinking about putting a hand to hide the sun shining through the window.

The white walls seemed to indicate he wasn't in his room, and that's the bed he was in, wasn't HIS bed.

Actually, the equally white sheets and the two other beds aligned in the room were a clear sign he was in the infirmary of his school.

 

Robbins wanted to sit up, looking to see if there was anyone in there, but his body protested by a headache and his arms giving up.

"Ouch..." he muttered when his back met the bed.  
The school definitely needed new mattresses, because this one was way too hard.

"Hold on there!" Nath's voice made itself heard.

 

She ran up from the door of the infirmary to the bed, her phone in hand.  
"I'm so happy you woke up! Let me see your fever..." she said, putting a hand to Robbins's forehead. "Yup, it lowered, that's good."

The boy gave her a questioning look.  
Nathalie put her phone in her pocket, and went to sit on the bed next to Robbins's.

"You freaked me out! One second, we're walking to our next class, the next, you pass out right in front of me! I was really worried!"

 

He... passed out? Really? Well, that explains why he was in the infirmary.

 

Robbins tried to recall the events beforehand.  
He remembered leaving his house way earlier this morning. He remembered John trying to talk to him. He remembered trying to avoid the guys, until Theo came and invited Robbims to eat with him, Nath' and Lisa. That's where it started to become a bit foggy.  
Robbins remembered talking with Theo before finally joining his table. He remembered not eating much, and then having a flashback. After that... it just became more and more confused. Him and Nathalie left for French, and then...  
he blacked out while walking.

 

Robbins left his thoughts, only to find Nath' looking at him with worry.  
He must have been off longer than he thought.

"I'm sorry for worrying you, I honestly don't know what happened, I must have been really tired or something like th..."  
"What do you mean, 'don't know what happened'? Rob', you have the fever of a horse!"  
"What...?" Robbins asked, confused.  
"Urgh, you're burning I mean. Sorry, sometimes I litteraly translate things."

Robbins took a look at the girl, thinking about what she just said.

"You mean that I have a fever..?" Robbins asked.  
"Yeah."

 

Robbins stayed silent.

_Alright, think! What can you d..._

 

"And you have a pretty bad one, if I may say. So bad that I'm surprised you didn't end up to the doctor sooner, or that at least you didn't take any day off. You know that the school won't kill you if you don't come for a few days, right?" Nathalie started.

Robbins could only listen, thinking of how to explain his fever without selling off the whole 'I'm a reincarnate'thing.

"Why have you let this fever go that far, exactly?" Nath finally asked.

 

... he didn't know how to do it.

 

"I..." Robbins eventually began. "I thought that there was nothing to do about it."

That left Nath' with a look of surprise on her face.  
"Why?" she asked.

Robbins took a deep breath. There we go.

 

"Well, I'm a reincarnate."

 

He could swear he saw hope in Nathalie's wide eyes.  
But then, her face fell into a frown.  
"But what does it have to do with my question?"

 

_really?_

 

"Well, you know," Robbins started off. "When you come to the doctor with a headache, if the headache is due to a revelation, the doctor will not find anything physical, no sickness, nothing, just a bad time you need to get through. And, well, I just assume my fever is because of it, so there's nothing we can do."

"..." Nathalie looked at him with wide eyes.

"Something's wrong?"

"You... thought that your fever was due to your revelation?"

"It IS due to my revelation!"  
"It's not!"  
"What?"

 

Now, it was Robbins's turn to look at his friend with wide eyes.

"... a revelation can only induce a headache, and generally, it only last one day, two in the most exceptional case," she explained to him.

 

...

Oh.  
_____________________

"How are you going?" a concerned Theo asked to Robbins.  
"Well, I'm better now," he answered with a smile.

The boy has just arrived, after Robbins learned from Nath' that, no, having a fever and headaches for days after your revelation wasn't actually a part of the said revelation.

Theo smiled. "I'm glad that I came in right at the moment you felt better," he joked. "Really, though, are you ok?"  
"As I said; I'm better now"  
The boy took Robbins's hand and squeezed it. "You weren't supposed to repeat the same pickup line, Rob'," he said in an amused tone, making Robbins blush.

 

"Wrong time to come in, huh?" they heard from the entrance of the infirmary.

Leaning against the doorframe stood Lisa, a smirk on her face.

"Actually, it's a good time," Nathalie said. "Like that, I'm not left alone feeling awkward between these two."  
Lisa laughed heartedly and joined her friends beside Robbins's bed.

"You know, I should have guessed you were sick after you left me all your fries," she winked.

Robbins smiled, amused. A frown then form itself on his face, and he sat up, as he realized something.  
"Wait, don't you guys have class now? How long have I been out?"  
"Not that long, don't worry," reassured him Theo, still holding his hand. "We were in French, a bit worried because neither you or Nathalie were there. After some minutes, we received Nath's text that you fainted, and we've decided that you were way more important than a French lesson."

 

A warm feeling bubbled in Robbins's chest, as a smile spread on his face.  
They left their class for him, to make sure he was fine. It wasn't much, but that made him happy.

"Thank y..." he started softly.  
"Oh, by the way!" Lisa interrupted, unaware she just cut her friend.

 

But Robbins didn't mind. He was talking a bit too low, after all.

 

"I hope you don't mind having a lot of people paying attention to you," Lisa kept talking. "Because, you see, there was one of your friends in French with us, and he also was worried to not see you, so when we received the text, Theo and I told him you were at the infirmary. He left the room in a rush, I think he's bringing the rest of your friends with him."

 

Oh no.  
No.  
Nonononono!

They're coming? But they can't! They'll ask him questions, and he'll have to answer them, and he can't lie to them, because Nathalie already knows he's a reincarnate, so if he doesn't tell them, she's going to ask questions and she'll know, but he also can't tell them, because if they know, they're going to ask questions and know the truth and they'll hate him, and...

 

"Aaron! Are you alright?!" yelled a panicked voice.

 

They're here.  
 **They're here.**

Robbins had to take some deep breaths to calm his heartbeat.

 

"Aaron...?" the voice from earlier called him, as if scared by what his friend just did.  
Theo, Lisa and Nath' were giving a concerned look to Robbins.

"Hello, Mat'," Robbins said, trying to make his voice cold. "I'm fine, thank you, just a bit sick."

 

Browns furrowed in confusion, Matthew looked at his friend, trying to understand what was wrong with him today. Why was he so distant?

 

"Excuse me, ladies and not-lady," Alex said, making his way near Robbins's bed. "I'm trying to see how my best friend is doing. There. Are you ok???"

Robbins would have laughed if he wasn't feeling so bad right now.

_best friend... even after all he's done_

"As I've already said to Matthew, yes, I'm fine."

 

Alex felt a pain in his heart when hearing his best friend's coldness in his voice. Has he really messed up that much during this past year? Is A. really against their friendship now?

A comforting arm wrapped itself around Alex's shoulders, and the red haired leaned a bit on his boyfriend.

 

Ulysse and John didn't say anything.  
Ulysse, because he wasn't sure of what to say (Aaron showed a clear disapproval at them asking him if he was fine, and that was the only question occupying his mind right now), and John because he was mad at his friend's way to act today.

 

A tense silence filled the room.

 

"Urgh, I hate this," Lisa eventually exclaimed, drawing all the attention on her. "Alright, let's just introduce ourselves, it'll help making us feel more comfortable."  
Since nobody protested, she continued.

"I'm Lisa Barrow, hello!"

Theo smiled and followed through.  
"And I'm Theo Barrow, Lisa's twin."

"And Alex already knows me, I'm Nathalie Durand!"  
"French?" Matthew asked, his interest peaked.  
"Yup"

Mat' made a big smile. "I'm French!"  
"Really?!"

"Don't believe him too fast," chimed in Ulysse. "The only French thing in Matthew is his past life. Otherwise, it's 100% pure American. Or, well, as pure American a white guy can be in America."

Nathalie laughed as Mat' pouted.  
"I figure you were Lafayette? I've heard he got his revelation at the start of the week."  
"At your service, miss." He then proceeded to kiss Nath's hand, making her giggle.

"Alright, what about you, guys?" Lisa interrupted the exchange. "You know our names, now tell us yours!"

"Alex Hearton"  
"John Laurent"  
"Ulysse Mullison"

 

After the introductions, they all started to chat lightly.  
Robbins used this moment where nobody was paying him attention to recollect his thoughts.

 

It was clear by now that the guys would ask him why he didn't get medical attention sooner. Because, somehow, they were still worried about him despite how he'd acted lately.

In the best of the worlds, he could simply lie to them, and everything would go back to normal.  
Sadly, since Nathalie knew he was a reincarnate, he was affraid he couldn't lie that easily without making her suspicious. The best way to do things, would be to have the guys never asking him what happened exactly when in front of Nat'.  
That would work, right?

 

"Hey, Robbins, are you ok? You didn't say anything for a while, now," Theo asked him.

Robbins smiled to him reassuringly. "Yes, I'm fine, don't worry."  
He just caught himself before adding 'love' at the end of his sentence.

"You know..." started Alex. "I've been wondering since I've heard Nath' call you that, but..."  
He turned towards Robbins and finished his sentence. "Why do they call you by your last name?"

 

There was a moment of silence as Robbins started to panick inside of him.

 

"That's funny, because I was wondering the same about John, Mat' and Ulysse," Theo added. "Why are they calling you by your first name?"

 

That was bad. Really bad.

Before Robbins could really panick again, he felt his hand, the one Theo never let go since he took it, being squeezed.

He had to accept it.

It was too late now. His time was out, and he couldn't hide any longer.

 

Robbins took a deep breath under the expecting eyes of his friends.

"I suppose it's time I explain it, huh?"  
His voice came out way weaker than he expected it to be.  
"The truth, is... I don't like my name anymore. I... I just can't hear it without feeling bad."

Alex, John, Ulysse and Matthew exchanged concerned glances. 

Robbins had to take another breath before continuing.

 

"I... I never told you, guys, about it, because I knew you would ask questions, and..." his speech was getting faster at each words, and tears started to form in his eyes. "And I,, I just,, and I just couldn't accept to tell you the truth, be- because..." he was now hiccuping as the words came out of his mouth, tears falling due to his inability to hold them back anymore.  
"I'm- I'm just so sorry guys, I- I just couldn't, because you would hate me and- and-"

"Hey, Aar- Robbins, calm down," Ulysse said, crouching next to his friend. He put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, the other going on his chest. "Breath, alright? Take air in. Then out. In. Out. In. Out. Good. Keep going. In. And out. In. And out. In. Out. In... Out."

Robbins took some more breaths before being calm enough to talk again.

 

"I... I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Titledrop.  
> ____________________
> 
> So, I was going to post this on monday, but then I saw it was Alex's birthday, so I thought 'why not?' And here we are, with a nes chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> NOW. Next chapter may be the last one. I think I'll have a small epilogue, but then it's done.
> 
> But, you know what? I still have others projects! And I thought, why not let you guys chose the next work? (They're all going to be post eventually, I think, so really it's mors for the order. So, here's the list of projects:
> 
> \- A Jamilton fanfic inspired by a prompt. Basically, they both drink a love potion, and... well, they 'fall in love'. Note that it's only for fun, they're not going to be together by the end of it;
> 
> \- A really self-indulgent fic, a self-insert travelling back in time. Usually I would not even dare mention it, but here I like my plot for the fic;
> 
> \- Your good old 'Hamilton react to Hamilton';
> 
> \- And I'm thinking about a fic in a reincarnation AU (I love these, sorry), with basically Washingdad as a single father taking card of his kid.


	13. Chapter 13

"I... I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry."

 

The silence was his only answer.

A deep breath, once again.

"I'm a reincarnate, like you. And I... I..."

He felt a hand being put on his shoulder, and now Alex was facing him.  
"Hey, A..." he started. "It's ok. I forgave you."

 

Robbins wasn't sure what Alex meant by that. He was certainly telling him he forgave his way to act with him, his outburst from yesterday, but at the same time, it seemed deeper than _just_ that. And maybe it was.  
Whatever Alex intended, this little act gave him the necessary strength to finish.

"I was Aaron Burr."  
It came out fast, and Robbins wasn't sure if his... friends really caught up what he just said, until Theo's grip on his hand tightened. A quick glance in his direction showed to Robbins a face full of affection, and how could have he ever doubt Theo's identity?

Daring look at all of his _friends_ , because that's what they were, his friends, Robbins saw Nathalie and Lisa beaming, while Mat', John and Ulysse were having a whispered conversation. Alex... Alex looked at him with a mix of joy, regrets and pride.

 

The infirmary stayed quiet as all of them were thinking about what to say now.

And Robbins knew it would stay that way until he's the one breaking the silence.

 

Robbins cleared his throat, bringing all the attention on him.  
"So... no one is gonna say anything to the murderer?" he said with a smile.

 

He maybe should have chosen something else to say, seeing how all of his friends started to talk at the same time.

Well, at least it broke the silence.

 

"What do you mean 'murderer'?!"  
"You better take that back!"  
"Aaron Robbins, I refuse you to talk like that!"  
"Oh my god I just told you I forgave you!"  
"Robbins, I truly hope you're joking!"  
"If you call yourself like that once again, I'll smack you in the head."  
 _ **SMACK**_  
"Ouch!"

The silence fell back at Robbins's little protestation of pain.  
"Sorry, Rob'," started Lisa. "I refuse that you tell bad things about you."

Robbins looked at her. "But you said it would be the next time!"  
"I know Theo and I are twins, but our voices aren't that close!" Lisa said with a laugh.

 

The boy looked at his lap, a bit ashamed.  
They were all talking at the same time, and it was so much informations at once he didn't even registered who said what.  
"Oh, uhm, sorry..."

"Hey, it's alright, I was only joking," Lisa reassured him, her tone now more serious.

"Hey, Robbins..." John started. "What did you mean, by 'murderer'?"

 

_What?_

 

"What?"

"Why did you call yourself a murderer?"

Robbins felt his mouth opening slightly, surprised. He then turned to Alex.  
"You... you never told him..?"

His best friend shook his head.  
"I never saw the use of it."

"Alex, I killed you. I think that's quite useful to say that to your boyfriend."

John widened his eyes in surprise. "You _what_ now?"

 

Alex made a face and started to speak.  
"First of, _Aaron Burr_ was the one who killed, not Aaron _Robbins_. Secondly, he didn't kill _me_ but _Alexander Hamilton_. Third of all, all of this doesn't matter because Hamilton pardoned Burr and I decided to do the same."  
He let out a breath, having said his tirade in one block, his voice getting faster and faster at every words, as he had gotten more and more taken up by what he was saying.

Robbins looked at his best friend, dumbfounded.  
John decided to step in. "Alright, so, if I follow you, Burr killed Alexander?"

The look everyone gave him was enough to answer the question.

John started to nod slightly as he was digesting the information.  
"And I bet that since you remembered, you felt bad for it."  
"That summed it up pretty well."

 

It was now Mat's turn to speak.  
"Look, Rob'," he said. "I'm sorry you had to get through this, and I'm fairly sure you had a hard time and still kind of do. But I need you to remember this: you're not defined by your past life. You're Aaron Robbins, the guy that once got his shirt stuck in his coat zipper and had to struggle with it for a moment. You're Aaron Robbins, the guy that is always amused by my horrible jokes, even if you try to hide it. You're Aaron Robbins, you're our friend, and will always be."

"He's right, buddy," added Ulysse. "You're stuck with us forever, whether you like it or not."

 

And yes, maybe it was true.

 

A messy line, hot and wet, ran on his cheek, soon followed by a thousand of them. He felt arms being wrapped around him, a multitude of them, and he couldn't stop anymore all his relief to wash him over.

They were his friends, all of them, and they will not let him go. Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost cried while writing the end of this chapter.
> 
> Though now I'm rereading it I don't think it's that good, but maybe I'm just being heartless, you tell me.
> 
>  
> 
> By the way, I made a poll for the next fic, you can chose more than one:
> 
> https://strawpoll.com/kdh2wgr4
> 
>  
> 
> and here's the summary for each:
> 
> A love potion: When John Church Hamilton, four years old, has found a suspicious bottle in the wild and bring it back home, nobody in the Hamilton household could have guessed what would happen next between Secretary of State Jefferson and Secretary of Treasury Hamilton.
> 
> Which was an unbelievable love story.
> 
>  
> 
> To this past world: Zoé Renaud, a student in history who always dreamed of an adventure. It's on one New Year's eve night that her life will change, as she fell asleep only to wake up in what seems to be the 18th century... [self-indulgent]
> 
>  
> 
> The Caleb Mystery: Caleb was a strange kid. He arrived this year in the school, and soon became the lonely kid in the back of the class, half-hated, half-ignored.
> 
> Tom and Alex would have never interacted with him if it wasn't for a group project.
> 
>  
> 
> At first, everything was surprisingly fine, Caleb acting decently and doing his part. But soon, he drastically changed to be lazy and rude.
> 
> This sudden shift in behavior could only intrigue Alex, and now, there's only one question occupying his mind: who really is Caleb?
> 
>  
> 
> I allowed comments if you want to give me ideas for the title or what you think of each story.
> 
>  
> 
> I'll see you all one last time for this fic at the epilogue!

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo... it was supposed to be a OS, but I couldn't write directly after this, it was the perfect ending for a chapter. So, not a OS anymore, but a short story (two chapters I think, maybe three).
> 
> I had this idea something like two days ago, I hope you enjoyed this first chapter which is more a characters introduction. The real angst is for the second chapter.
> 
> Again: English is not my first language, so I must have made mistakes. Please, point them out in the comments and explain them to me, so I will not do them again. Thank you!


End file.
